Stupid Dog

DISCLAIMER: That part of this world and those characters you’ve seen before belong to their Creator: JKR. The rest is mine - although I cannot quit my day job as I make no $$$

A/N: Sorry for delay but there was family stuff…

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN: STUPID DOG

Friday, August 6 th 1993

Harry sat on a swing in the play park a few blocks from his relatives place in Little Whinging, Surrey. In the Outside, as they called it, they had returned from their Holiday to France on Tuesday afternoon and he had begun this vigil that night. His “future” memories were not date specific. He was not absolutely certain of what he remembered. In this memory, while sitting where he was sitting after a particularly interesting falling out with the Dursleys (he seemed to recall turning that vile “Aunt” Marge into some kind of balloon), he had run out and found himself here wondering where he should go with his only idea being not back there. In this memory, he recalled hearing something behind him and had seen what he thought might have been a large, black wolf in the bushes. Intellectually, he knew it could not have been a wolf. There were no wolves in England (unless it somehow escaped from a zoo). When he looked again, it had disappeared. It turned out that Sirius Black’s animagus form was a large, black dog that he thought one might confuse with a wolf, particularly at night, at a distance, with bushes in the way and with his less than spectacular eyesight; apparently one the less desirable Potter traits.

This time, he was not looking for the doggie. He was tempting it. As he had each of the previous nights, he was eating a sandwich. Another sandwich was on the swing next to him. It was close enough for him to get to it, but far enough away that a stray dog might see it as an easy feed and that was the point. He figured that dog or no, Sirius Black had to be hungry and would not pass up an easy meal even if it was stealing a sandwich from a child. His dad thought this part of the plan was a great prank on his old friend. His dad thought the revision for the next part even better. Harry was not his dad. He did not prank. This was a plan that if there was humor to it, that was a side bit. This was serious business to Harry because the price for failure could well mean the life of an innocent man.

For Harry, however, all there was to do was nibble on his sandwich and wait. He had an idea when to be here and when it would be okay to leave. In his memory, he arrived in the park not long after sunset so he had arrived around that time each day. He also knew he had been in bed before midnight and had a minor adventure involving a strange purple bus, the Leaky Cauldron and the Minister of Magic of all people between the time when he saw the dog and midnight. He figured staying until around ten-thirty was safe if things went as they had in his memory. Still, that left him with a lot of time for nibbling his sandwich and thinking and hoping that Dudley got the message about staying clear of the play park. (He had a plan involving a certain elf if that message was disregarded and so far so good.)

The Grangers knew about the Potters now. Originally, they were going to keep the Grangers in the dark about it, but Harry’s girls thought it would be cruel to keep the Potters away from Harry’s thirteenth Birthday party. Still, they were concerned about secrecy until Hermione came up with the idea of trying the Fidelius Charm. The Tennysons said it was not all that hard under the right circumstances. She felt this secret fell squarely into one within the skill of a rising Third Year. The others, including the Potters were less certain. Harry figured if any Third Year could do it, it would be Hermione so he supported her. After all, only those people in the trunk knew the secret and if they were all there when the spell was cast, it would be much easier to do. Hermione did something that looked like casting the spell. She defined the secret as “James and Lily Potter are alive and living in the Cottage in the Valley,” and then finished the charm placing the secret with their Secret Keeper Ginny. Either it worked or it didn’t and the way to find out was for everyone not named Ginny to try and tell the Grangers the secret once they left the trunk for lunch following the end of time compression. The Tennysons were right. The Fidelius Charm was easy under the right circumstances because while they all knew the secret, only Ginny could reveal it.

The truth was the party had been somewhat anti-climatic for Harry. He did enjoy it. He liked his gifts. But he had already got the one thing he had wanted for as long as he could remember and no gift could top that in a million years. He had his parents back. Thinking about how his life had changed was a good way to while away what would have been hours of boredom waiting for a dog he could not be certain would show up. He did, however, know it would probably happen.

The day after they had returned from France while Harry and the girls were out exploring her hometown, a visitor had shown up at the Grangers. Rose Granger had answered the door and there was a somewhat presentable (or so he thought) Sirius Black on the doorstep. Were Harry there, this waiting on a swing would have been unnecessary. But Rose could no more call Dobby or any other elf than she could do magic. Sirius gave her some kind of tale about having spent years in an artists' colony on some island but how he had tired of it and was now interested in seeing his Godson. The Grangers had met him years earlier back when Harry used to spend the day with Hermione and Luna. Rose had played her part well they hoped and accepted the story. Later, she told it again and everyone thought the Dog had developed a rather black sense of humor if he could suggest Azkaban was an artists' colony and say it with a straight face. Harry could only smile at that. Rose had told the old dog that Harry was with his relatives and told him their address and, when asked, gave him directions to Little Whinging although she said truthfully she did not know where Privet Drive was.

They knew the dog was coming.

Hungry! The dog was hungry. The dog was always hungry the human thought. The dog could be so full it hurt and it would still be hungry. They had eaten six hours or so ago, not that either could tell time. The dog could not. The human could, but had no watch and had not seen a clock since “lunch.” Hungry Dog was becoming a major distraction and the human was trying his best to ignore it. He had not before. Disgusting thing! The dog may have thought it a feast, but scouring the bin behind a restaurant for half eaten entrees all mixed together - some of which must have been there for more than a day - that was nothing short of disgusting. Then again, the human had seen dogs eat their own droppings. This dog was tempted, but the human kept it from crossing that line.

Damn dog! They had a mission and all the damn dog wanted to do was eat! Every scent and it got distracted and it was all the human could do to keep it on task. It had taken them days to get here from there and weeks to get there from the other place. The human was certain the dog had not really slowed them down all that much, but it certainly would have if it could have. It seemed that the only thing worse than the smell food was the scent of a bitch in heat. The dog was almost impossible to control when that scent was in the air. The human almost let the dog have its way on that once, but decided there were too many bitches in heat in this country and if the dog was let go for one, it would expect to be let go for all of them and it would take them forever to get anywhere. The human knew they had to eat too and that was a bodily function that could not be ignored by either of them. But the damned dog had a bottomless stomach and no patience. It’s a wonder the canines were not extinct!

The human was sure they were close now. They were in the right place and there was every indication his goal was nearby. It’s a pity the dog couldn’t tell the goal from any other scent. The dog could easily track it especially if the human gave the dog any indication that there might be food if the dog found what the human wanted it to find. The dog would do anything for food and the human really did not want to know what that really meant. There were two strong scents. The dog wanted to take off after one of them but the human held it back. The other… The dog might not know it but the human knew it was familiar. He let the dog move towards it slowly. There was a hedge between them and the smells. It would be perfect cover. They would be able to see if this was the target without being seen or spooking it. But the other scent: food! It was powerful and the dog was drooling. A moment’s let up and the dog would be off for that scent.

Cautiously, they pushed through the foliage, careful not to make a sound. The Human thought like an ambush predator. Dogs hunted in packs, ran their quarry to ground and attacked. Stealth was not a major component of their hunting prowess. The Human hoped the dog could behave more like a cat right now. Stealth was essential. Only a few branches separated them from the safety of their cover and the open space beyond. They were close now. And then he saw it! It had to be it! It had to be what he had come all this way to find! It couldn’t be anything else, the odds were too great! It had to be…

HAM SANDWICH!

GODDAMN STUPID DOG!

It only took a moment longer than that for the dog to cover the distance from the hedge to the ham sandwich. There was nothing the human could do to stop it. All the human could do was hope the dog would run off before the human on the swing could stop it. The dog snatched the neglected ham sandwich and took off before its owner could even react. The human felt a little better, but was still furious with the dog. The dog bit into its prize.

‘Oh bugger,’ the human thought feeling a hook behind its navel as the dark world of the play park vanished. ‘Stupid dog!’

“Hello, Sirius Black,” a voice said.

He opened his eyes and blinked in the bright lights. He then saw the owner of the voice and passed out before he could berate the dog one last time.

Harry had heard something behind him. It was all he could do not to look. He heard something running towards him and whatever it was it was not a person. A slight noise, not a snarl or a growl but it was some kind of vocalization and the swing next to him was twisting violently. The half of a ham sandwich was gone and Harry saw a large, back four legged thing with a bushy tail running away. Then there was a flash of blue light and it vanished. Harry smiled. He finished what remained of his ham sandwich before standing and walking towards the curb. He pulled a small torch from his pocket and aimed it down the street flashing it three times. Moments later, a Land Rover pulled up and he got in the passenger side.

“Got him?” Robert Granger asked.

“Either that, or there’s another large, black stray dog running about with a detectable magical signature,” Harry said. “Odds are it’s him. Bloody good thing too. Getting tired of ham sandwiches.”

“I must be dead,” he said when he came to. “I’m dead, aren’t I? Probably hit by a car, wasn’t I?”

“And why do you say that, Sirius Orion Black?” the angelic like woman said.

“‘Cause I’m certain I’ve never seen this place ever and I’m seeing dead people.”

“What? No ‘good to see you again James?’ No ‘how have you two been?’ What an ungrateful git!”

“Well, how grateful can I be if I’m dead?”

“Seems to have a death wish, Lils.”

“A fixation, that’s for certain. If he were dead, you’d expect he’d be more respectful. Last chance to get through the Pearly Gates and all that. Given his misbegotten youth, he should be worried it might be the Pit.”

“Now Lils, he was never quite Pit-worthy.”

“But he was such he should have been Pit-worried. Instead, he questions the gate keepers.”

“I am dead, aren’t I?” Sirius asked.

“He certainly has a death ideation, don’t you think?” the woman asked the man standing next to her.

“He’s a fool. He’s not stupid. Most of the Wizarding World wants him dead and there’re some all too eager for the fifty thousand Galleon reward to see to it.”

“So this was for a reward?”

“We’re not in this for the money,” the man said.

“I meant back there! Didn’t think money would mean anything here.”

“Still thinks he’s dead, doesn’t he?” the woman observed.

“No one ever called him a genius,” the man said.

“I’m not dead?”

“You’re breathing, aren’t you Genius? There! Now someone has,” the woman said with a laugh.

“There’s a first time for everything,” the man said with a shrug.

“You’re Death Eaters, aren’t you?” Sirius said accusingly.

The man gave him an evil grin.

“I won’t tell you anything!”

“Oh,” the woman said, “I can assure you, Black, by the time we’re done with you, you’ll come clean.” Something grabbed him by the shoulders and he was somewhere else. In the split second before he was taken away, he could hear the two of them laughing evilly. When he gathered what remained of his wits, he realized he was somewhere very different. The room had tiles on the floor and walls. He was also very naked and very wet.

“That wasn’t very nice, Mr. Potter. He’s gone through hell. He hasn’t seen you in a dozen years and you try to convince him he’s dead or something!” Luna said although she was laughing.

“Not nice, but it was funny,” James replied. “And I do still owe him for his last prank.”

“It’s been twelve years!”

“For him. It’s been less than a week for me. Even better. They say revenge is a dish best served cold.”

“You didn’t tell the elves to give him a cold shower!” Lily gasped.

“Darn! Wish I’d thought of that. Oh well. Too late now.”

“There’s a story here,” Hermione said. The five girls had seen the whole thing from behind a barrier. They could see what was going on. Sirius could not see them.

“We were called the Marauders in school,” James said. “We were the school pranksters.”

“Clowns, more like,” Lily said. “Not always funny ones at that.”

“We had no equal,” James began.

“Don’t count on it,” Ginny said. “My brothers Fred and George will probably give you and your friends a real run for your money, assuming they haven’t already. They’re rather creative.”

“Rather?” Daphne asked. “Last term they did something. Don’t know what it was exactly. Thank Merlin only the victims truly noticed!”

“What?”

“I don’t really know. Apparently they did something and all the boys in Slytherin thought their clothes had vanished right in the middle of lunch. As I said, only the victims noticed that. The idea of actually seeing something like that…” Daphne shivered.

“That was one of the tamer ones,” Ginny commented. “As she said, no one noticed a thing.”

“I think I remember that day,” Hannah said. “The lot of them bolting for the door! Malfoy squealing! Then they show up to class that afternoon with robes over their robes. I wondered what happened. Not that it didn’t happen to a nicer group.”

“How long are you going to keep up this little prank of yours?”

“Can’t speak for James,” Lily said, “but I owe that dog for getting Harry a training broom for his first birthday!”

“‘Til he figures it out, I suppose,” James added.

“He will probably find the truth is stranger than the fiction,” Luna observed.

“I assume it was him,” Harry said. His parents and his girls were seated in the Great Hall.

“It was,” his father replied. “We’re having a little fun with him now.”

“Oh? Where is he?”

“Upstairs, getting a make-over,” Hannah said.

“I hope you’re not serious,” Harry deadpanned.

“No, that’s Hannah. She’s a girl and a very pretty one. Sirius is upstairs,” James said.

“Tell me that wasn’t the running joke when you were in school,” Hermione moaned.

“I could, but I’d be lying,” James replied.

“What do you mean you’re having a little fun with him?” Harry asked.

“It’s his fault!” the girls said in unison.

“Whose? My Dad’s or Sirius.”

“One could say a little of both,” Lily chuckled, “although I’m not innocent. Sirius took one look at James and I and passed out. When he came to, he was convinced this must be the afterlife and we’ve been running with it.”

“Which gives me an idea for Phase Two of the Great Potter Padfoot Prank,” James said with a grin. He then explained Phase Two. He was a little surprised that Harry was willing to play along. Harry did not seem like the pranking type.

Harry and Ginny walked into the informal dining room. The other residents of the House were seated at the table eating breakfast. Only one guest was missing.

“Where’s Sirius?” James asked.

“Took one look at the two of us and was convinced he was dead,” Harry said. “I said he was alive. He said something ‘bout round the twist and passed out again.”

“I think you’ve had enough fun with him,” Hermione said although she was chuckling. “He looked have starved and needs to eat.”

James gave her a pout. Then he nodded.

“Dobby?” Harry called.

“Yes, Harry Potter Sir?”

“Have the staff make sure our guest is presentable and then have him escorted to breakfast.”

“At once, Sir!” Dobby popped away.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have called him,” Harry said with a smirk.

“Harry!” Hermione growled.

“He is enthusiastic,” Harry said with an evil grin.

Sirius Black was now fairly certain he was not dead. He was certain, however, that he had completely gone round the twist. He was not completely surprised. He had spent twelve years in Azkaban which was more than enough time to lose it. The surprising part was his break from reality occurred after he was shot of the place. He never thought getting away from that hell would unhinge him, but this place and recent events had proven him wrong. He wondered if he had been losing it before. It was getting harder to control that damned dog and he now knew that ham sandwich must have been a portkey. The other option - that it was some kind of hallucinogenic thing - was another possibility he could not rule out, but for now he preferred a portkey. Being dead made more sense. But that bath had not been painless. He doubted the House Elves - assuming that’s what they were - were being cruel. But having not had a true bath in years (one had to discount the monthly prison hosing down), it was not as pleasant as it might otherwise have been. They had been eager to get him clean and he would not be surprised if he was red and raw from their enthusiastic ministrations.

He began questioning reality the moment he arrived at wherever he was. Either his eyes were deceiving him or his mind was because what he saw was impossible. He saw James and Lily Potter. He was certain he saw them, but was equally certain it could not possibly be them. He had wanted that night to be nothing but a bad dream for so long, he was now convinced the dream had become reality and, therefore, he was finally insane. James and Lily were dead. He had seen their lifeless bodies. And yet there they were, none the worse for wear and not a day older. Twelve years had passed, he knew that only from that paper the fat man in the green bowler had left with him. Those two looked no older than his last memory of them. Then he woke up in a warm soft bed, the first bed he had been in and years and there they were again, except much, much younger. The James and Lily he saw before he passed out again had to be ten years younger than the James and Lily he had seen the night before. He had to be insane.

Now there was a House Elf in his room. He had not been here long, but he dreaded these House Elves as much as he dreaded the visions of his dead friends. He was certain these things only looked like House Elves. They certainly did not behave like any House Elf he had ever known. This was hell, he was certain of it and he was being tormented by these little demons. And the torment continued. The Elf laid some clothes on the end of the bed and ordered him to get dressed for breakfast. Elves never ordered! But that’s what it sounded like. It was not a request or a polite suggestion, not that elves were likely to do that either. It was an order. The Elf was insisting! He was not rude or curt, but it was clear he expected Sirius to do as he was told. Sirius decided to humor the little demon. No sense in giving it an excuse to do the worst. He was soon wearing clean underwear, slacks, a shirt with a collar and strange kind of leather shoes that it seemed one wore without socks. (Either that or the Elf omitted socks for some reason). When he was dressed, he looked for a mirror but found none. The Elf returned before a more exhaustive search could begin and ordered Sirius to follow him down to breakfast.

He was in some kind of Manor. This much was obvious. He was certain he had seen some of the portraits before somewhere, but he knew that wherever that somewhere was it was not here. He knew he had never been here before. He was soon led into a very sunny dining room with tall windows that looked out over a broad lawn that stretched into the distance. This was the kind of room he would have remembered had he ever been here before, which he had not been. Like the rest of the manor, it had an elegance to it, but lacked the opulence common to many of the manor homes he had known. Aside from the portraits and tapestries, it was as if this place was intended to be understated. This dining room was no different. It was small, elegant and yet simple without the flash most purebloods of any means would insist on having to impress. There was one table and he saw there were several people already seated about it. He paused when he saw both versions of James and Lily Potter were there. He had definitely lost it. The younger version of James looked at him.

“Have a seat, Mr. Black,” the version said. There was one empty seat at the table. There was food as well and the others were eating. Whatever reservations serious may have had vanished. He was hungry. But the two versions of his friends still confused him.

“I’ve gone round the twist,” he said.

“Oh, I’m sure you have not, Mr. Black,” a voice said. Sirius looked at its source and saw a blonde haired girl with large, pale blue eyes looking at him with an odd expression. “You’re just having an odd experience.”

“I must be mad,” he said taking his seat.

“And why do you insist upon such a thing?” the girl asked.

“‘Cause I’m seeing things.”

“Seers call that ‘visions’,” the girl said.

“Seeing dead people is not a vision,” Sirius replied. “Where am I?”

“Perhaps you should order before you get too keyed up to do so,” another girl said. “Fill out the card. You can have as much as you want or are comfortable with, but only one helping at a time. Your host does not like wasting food.”

“Which reminds me,” the younger version of James said, “you owe me for half a ham sandwich.”

“Where am I?” Sirius asked after filling out his card. It vanished and was replaced with a plate of eggs and bacon.

“Oh goody,” the blonde said. “That is easily my favorite topic! We’ve spent weeks trying to figure that out and new ideas are most welcome!”

“You don’t know where this is?”

“Oh, but we do,” the girl said. “But we also do not. Right now we are in Devon, Kent, Royal Berkshire, Shropshire and Surry in England and yet we are also in none of those places and maybe not even in England at all. We wonder if this part of the world or separate and apart from it. We can prove it is not clearly part of the world, but we cannot prove that it exists separate and apart from the world. So that leaves the question where are we with all sorts of wonderfully fascinating ideas, but no true answers. For now, it is easiest to say we are where we believe we are knowing only that we are here.”

Sirius blinked. What was truly scary was as odd as that was, it seemed there was sense to it. “I’ve definitely lost my marbles.”

“I’m pretty sure you did not have any marbles when you arrived,” the younger version of Lily said.

“Must have lost them before he arrived then,” another girl added.

“Why would someone your age have marbles?” the sole brunette at the table asked.

“Perhaps he had them for sentimental reasons,” another of the five girls said. “I have a plushie like that.”

“That would make sense,” the first girl said.

“I’m sorry you lost your marbles,” one of the blonds said.

“If you lost them here, they’ll turn up and you can have them back,” another added.

“I think he meant he thinks he’s crazy,” the older version of Lily said.

“Why would he think that?” the blonde with the strange eyes said. “That’s just silly.”

“If he thinks he’s crazy, he’s probably sane,” the brunette said. “A crazy person would think everyone else is crazy and he’s the only sane person around. To him, that could be the only rational answer which is of course why they’re crazy.”

“Why do you think you’re crazy, Mr. Black?” the odd eyed blonde asked.

“Um… I’m seeing my friends. I can’t be seeing them because they’re dead.”

“Really? And where are these friends?”

He pointed to the two versions of his friends. There was no reaction when he pointed to the older two, which he did first. When he pointed to the younger two, everyone else at the table laughed. He was confused.

“You’re friends had names, didn’t they?” one of the other blondes said.

“James and Lily Potter,” Sirius nodded.

“Look in my eyes,” the younger James said. Sirius did. The eyes were all wrong. Now he was really confused. “Am I James Potter?”

“N-no. But who?”

“Who indeed. I believe introductions are in order. I am Harry James Potter and this is my place - contrary to Luna’s questions of where we are we all agree this is my place wherever it is. This is Hermione, Luna, Daphne, Hannah and Ginny.” He indicated each of the young women at the table, the last one being what he thought was a younger Lily. Looking at her he realized that too was wrong. Her eyes were the wrong color altogether. “I’ve been told you fancied yourself the ladies' man in the past, Mr. Black. I would advise you that these ladies are all far too young for you and, more importantly, they are all spoken for. I will not take it kindly were you to try anything with my wives and betrothed.”

“Wha…?”

“But you are correct about the other two. Ginny?”

“James and Lily Potter are alive and live in the Cottage in the Valley,” the girl named Ginny said.

“And these two,” Harry continued, “are James and Lily Potter.”

“It can’t be!”

“Why not,” the blonde called Luna asked.

“They’re dead!”

“And you know this how?”

“They’re dead! This is all some sort of trick!”

“I do believe he thinks we’re evil, Harry,” the blonde identified as Daphne said. “He probably thinks you’re You-Know-Who.”

Harry smirked. “Daphne? I know it’s spelled You-Know-Who but it’s pronounced Voldemort.”

Sirius blinked as the others chuckled.

“Why do you think James and Lily Potter are dead?” Luna asked again.

“I know they’re dead! I saw their bodies!”

“Or did you merely think you saw them.”

“Don’t be silly! Of course I saw them!”

“They say looks can be deceiving,” Hermione said. “So we have a problem. You say you saw James and Lily dead and yet you see them here. Either your eyes were deceiving you then or they’re deceiving you now.”

“Um…”

“Did you do anything then to confirm what you thought you saw?”

Sirius shook his head. “It didn’t seem necessary.”

“Did you try to counter any magic that may have been present?”

“No. It was obvious…”

“And wizards believe they are so brilliant, so great,” she said dismissively. “Not one of them thought to question that which was before their eyes when they live in a world when one should always question it. Magic can be wonderful, but it also can be deceptive, can it not?”

“The counter-charm was very obscure,” the one who looked like Lily said, “but a standard Auror detection charm would have alerted someone that there was more there than met the eye. It was set up to fool Voldemort and his minions who I figured would not stick around to run forensics on their work. I never figured it would trick the entire world.

“Had you run a standard forensics, you would have noted something was off with the two bodies you saw. They only looked human. As you should recall, Sirius, Gamps Second Law states that the details in a transfigured object are greater where the original object more closely resembles the target object in mass, structure and elemental composition. It also states that permanence of transfiguration and the ease of counteracting it has a similar relationship.”

“You didn’t transfigure two corpses, did you? I mean assuming I believe this.”

“No. That would be illegal now, wouldn’t it,” Lily said. “Of course if your definition of a corpse is broader than homo-sapiens, you would be spot on. What you saw were two dead pigs as in the four legged creatures we use to make the bacon you’re eating. From a transfiguration standpoint, they are sufficiently close to humans in many critical ways to take full advantage of the Second Law.”

“But why? And why is it you don’t look any older? And how? I may not have checked the bodies, but it was clear the place had been attacked. You can’t fake a scene that well and that quickly.”

“You’re correct,” James said. “As for why, we didn’t trust Dumbledore.”

“You seemed to trust him when you told us you were agreeing to his plan,” Sirius said.

“At that time, I did,” James replied. “There was a loyalty potion involved - and a rather powerful one. There might’ve been a compulsion charm as well ‘cause I remember eating one of his damned lemon drops. But this little scheme of Lily's… she came up with it before that happened. Got everything in place where we needed it. Once she were ready, Lils cast a Fidelius Charm on what she had done and made little Harry the Secret Keeper.”

“But he could not possibly have told! He couldn’t have remembered.”

“Exactly!” Lily said. “The secret’s hidden in a person’s magic, not in their mind. You can use a baby as a Secret Keeper if you accept that the secret cannot be told. Our charm was set so it would terminate if the magic it protected activated ‘cause by then we’d be safe in our cottage in the Valley.”

“So how did you manage to replace yourselves? Are you saying the enemy never attacked?”

“Voldemort showed up alright,” James said. “It was quite a fight and, believe it or not, he wasn’t as good as he thought he was. I might’ve sorted him out in time. But when Lily gave me the signal, I let up my defense just enough to give him an opening and he sent off a Killing Curse.”

“Signal?”

“I screamed telling his to save himself too,” Lily said. “That told him we were ready. The spell I used is from a very old Potter family journal. It’s really complex. It combines very complex transfiguration with a switching spell and if triggered, both happen faster than the blink of an eye. In this case, we were replaced by the transfigured pigs. Naturally, it was not simple. The spell was invented with just such a scenario in mind and therefore, to fool the attacker, the doppelganger had to look exactly like the original had the moment before down to every cut and injury and even blood patterns. This required a blood ritual to work. Specifically I had to replace the blood in the pigs with our blood - the more of our blood in the pig the more effective the spell. I did a full transfusion. It took over a week and a lot of blood replenishing potion for the three of us, but it worked… mostly.”

“Mostly?”

“The trigger was lethal magic,” Lily continued. “A lethal spell had to penetrate a plane about three inches from our bodies. By lethal, I mean one that would kill us, not one which could kill us. The Killing Curse could not trigger the spell unless it absolutely would hit and kill us otherwise. Voldemort got the two of us with that curse. The ones that triggered the transference were unblocked and could not be dodged. Whatever happened after he cursed me, he did not trigger the transference with Harry meaning Harry survived and would’ve survived whatever had followed.”

“Maybe I did survive the Killing Curse that night,” Harry said. “That’s what everyone believes. Maybe something else happened. Regardless, whatever happened it was not lethal to me so that spell of Mum’s was not triggered.”

“But why are you two so… so young looking?”

“Remember, I said the trigger had to be lethal and not merely potentially lethal. A potentially lethal spell that was off such that it would not kill on impact would not trigger the transference. The spell I used was a bit dodgy that way. Thus, we could be seriously injured, possibly to an extent that without a Healer we would ultimately die. As an added precaution we transferred to a location under a stasis charm, freezing us in time as of the exact moment of transference. Naturally we were in no position to drop the charm and I set things up so only you or Remus could, or so I thought. We figured one of you would pop ‘round to the Valley. We don’t know what happened to Remus. But you just had to get your sorry self chucked away at that Artist Colony!”

“How did you know…?”

“My Mum’s part of our little scheme,” Hermione said. “You saw here a couple of days ago. She’s Rose Granger.”

“You’re that Hermione?”

“Not to swift on the uptake, are you,” Harry said. “Hermione’s hardly a common name.”

“How was I supposed to know that? That’s the Muggle World. For all I knew it’s a popular name! It is a pretty one.”

“Remember, Mr. Black. She’s spoken for!”

“I didn’t mean it that way. So if it took Remus or me to undo the stasis charm and you have no idea where Remus is - I take it - how was it undone?”

“Harry was our Secret Keeper,” Lily replied. “That and it was his blood that was needed to break the overlapping charm matrix. I think that allowed him to get the letter addressed to you two. It’s the only explanation I have and given how tricky all that magic is, that makes sense to me. He revived us not long ago. Nearly twelve years have passed for you. It’s only been a few days since that night for James and me.”

“And the… ,”

“I’m still pregnant,” Lily said. “May go down as the longest pregnancy on record although I’m not about to let that information out any time soon.”

“Thank Merlin for that,” Sirius said relaxing. “Still, this is…”

“A bit intense?” Harry asked.

“Seems like a great, big prank.”

“Or several not so big pranks,” James said.

“Last night?”

“I ask you, Padfoot, what would you have done in my shoes? You show up here understandably confused and see Lily and I and automatically assumed you snuffed it?”

“I’m still waiting for the end.”

“That one ended. The prank of our misreported death remains ongoing…”

“If we’re listing Sirius pranks, don’t forget the ham sandwich,” Harry added.

“What was that, by the way, and how did you… James told you what I was, right?”

“I already knew,” Harry shrugged. “The sandwich was a portkey, obviously.”

“But what if I was a real dog?”

“Then you’d have nicked a perfectly fine ham sandwich and I’d be out a portkey. Fortunately, I had a spare in my jacket for just such a situation.”

“And what would’ve happened to the dog?”

“Nothing. The portkey could only be triggered if a wizard bit into it. It needed the magical signature to complete the spell. We knew you’d be running ‘round as a dog, mostly. Pretty sure you stopped off somewhere to nick the clothes you were wearing when you showed up at the Grangers and they knew you might just try that seeing as they knew that you knew I was to go there if anything happened. But, seeing as the Wizarding World would be after you - and they’ve issued a death warrant for you…”

“A death warrant? For escaping?”

“For what you supposedly did to get tossed into that place and then escaping and making the Minister for Magic look like a fool.”

“Not that he needed your help,” Luna said. “He is a fool. Just doesn’t want anyone to know it. So he’s a little upset with you.”

“The evening after you met the Grangers, Fudge went a step further - or at least that’s when it came out. You’re now the most wanted man in Britain.”

“Death Warrant means just that,” Sirius shrugged.

“No, we mean all of Britain. Your face is plastered all over the Muggle news as well. Of course, they say nothing about your being a wizard. You’re what they call a terrorist who’s supposed to be threatening to kill the Royal Family, in addition to already being a proven mass murderer and escaped convict.”

“You’ve set a new mark for notorious,” James said. “Not even Voldemort got that kind of press.”

“Anyway, we knew you were coming for me. I knew if I remained near my relatives you couldn’t get to me. There are some interesting wards on that place and right now the only wizards who can get within a hundred meters of the place are Dumbledore and the Weasleys. So I had to get out from the wards if I wanted to catch a certain doggy. I figured you would be rather hungry so I set up a free meal. You were… predictable.”

“Stupid dog,” Sirius growled. “Not that I’m complaining.”

“We know you’re innocent,” Harry began to continue.

“This is Sirius Black,” his mother chided. “Sirius and innocent are a contradiction in terms. But… continue Harry.”

“In November ‘81 you were chucked into Azkaban without a trial. Admittedly, there was an Emergency Decree that allowed for this under the right circumstances and getting caught red handed in a murder qualified.”

“But I never… !”

“We know and even as warped as your situation was, the Aurors who caught you could not say they saw you cast the spell that killed all those Muggles.”

“‘Cause I didn’t.”

“We know! What did you in, supposedly, was your confession.”

“What confession? I don’t remember a confession! They took me into the Ministry and the Head of DMLE asked a few questions and I was off to that resort of horrors!”

“We have a copy of that interrogation,” Hannah said. “And a copy of the next day’s issue of the Daily Prophet where Crouch bragged about your so called confession. You barely said a thing in response to any questions. What you did say were: It’s all my fault. They’d be alive if it wasn’t for me and one other thing. Mostly it was those two statements over and over and without regard to the question. The only clear response you gave was to the question: Did you kill Peter Pettigrew? You said: I certainly wanted to.”

“I did.”

“With that,” Harry said, “they said you confessed to being a Death Eater, part of Voldemort’s inner circle; conspiring to kill my family; conspiring to commit line theft; killing Peter Pettigrew; killing a dozen Muggles; seventy-seven separate violations of the Statute of Secrecy and that you implicated yourself in numerous other unspecified crimes.”

“That’s a load of…”

“Dragon dung, but no one seemed to notice. Under that Emergency Decree you were supposed to eventually get a proper trial. Everyone else did. You did not.”

“Why not?” James asked.

“We don’t know, not for certain. But we’re pretty sure Dumbledore swept it all under a rug. No one was eager to let suspected Death Eaters off the hook. Dumbledore seemingly bent over backwards for those rounded up under the Emergency Decree and a load of really nasty Death Eaters who remained at large when Voldemort disappeared. Sirius Black, however, was forgotten. Then again, Sirius Black had been named as my potential surrogate father and my primary magical guardian in my parent’s will and Dumbledore was not about to allow that to happen.” Harry then explained Dumbledore’s plot that went into action after his parents' death. “Wouldn’t do to let the Grangers and Lovegoods keep their memories, or give you a trial he knew would see you free and therefore more than capable of undoing his little plans. He even obliviated Ginny’s parents when they balked about that marriage contract he had drawn up. Keeping me out of the world and away from those who knew my heritage - better yet distrustful of such people as most were Slytherins - was part of his plan to gain control over my House Votes, which might tip the balance in favor of the Liberals. As I understand it, he has to wait until I’m twenty-one to gain full control over those votes through his indirect vassalage. He might have been able to do it earlier. Once I turn seventeen I can change my House Proxy after all.”

“So I rotted in prison while Death Eaters got off free all for some votes on the Wizengamot?” Sirius asked in disbelief.

“They all claimed they were under the Imperius Curse.”

“That’s a load of rubbish! You can’t take that mark that way. You have to want to do those things!”

“Dumbledore convinced enough people to let the past remain there. There were others who did not like it at all, but thought that to disregard that defense would be a problem. The fact that those claiming it were lying never seemed to bother the Wizengamot. Then again, several of its members were probably Death Eaters as well or at least had been supporters.”

Sirius was silent for a long time. He ate his breakfast, but was clearly thinking about something.

“Okay, you said you knew all this before you revived your parents and yet it seems to me no one was meant to know and some of it not even your parents could’ve known. You even knew some things that only a handful of people in this world could’ve known and the only other one who realistically could have told you that I was a dog animagus was Remus Lupin and you said you’ve never met him. How’d you know that?”

“Ginny?”

“Harry, Hermione and Luna have and will have access to memories from a future that has not happened yet,” Ginny said.

“You’re from the future?”

“No,” Harry replied. “And we can’t tell you much about it. Future knowledge only seems to come to us in bits and pieces and only when needed for some reason. Our first true uncap - that’s what we call it - began with a picture in the Daily Prophet. Dobby?”

Dobby popped into the room and handed Harry a paper. He handed it to Sirius. “I don’t believe it!”

“Fudge gave it to you. He’s the current Minister for Magic. You told him you wanted to do the cross-word.”

“How?”

“You told me. Or I should say a Sirius Black in that other future tells that me about two years from now. The picture is of Ginny’s family in Egypt. What caught your attention was the one wizard only you, my parents and Lupin would have known: Peter Pettigrew. You released yourself on…”

“His own recognizance,” Luna supplied.

“Thanks.… to get the rat. My guess is you don’t really care what happens to you as long as you get the rat.”

Sirius nodded.

“Unfortunate then. You see, you’ve become somewhat important to our plans and seeing you caught does not factor in at all.”

“Harry?” Lily said after a pause. “Why would you do something like try to change the future?”

“It didn’t work out exactly as Dumbledore planned,” Harry replied. “But the one bit that did was that House Potter was no longer a factor politically. That me didn’t care. Didn’t want anything to do with politics. That me didn’t know about House Potter at all. Nothing really changed and because nothing changed people like the Death Eaters kept popping up. Finally, they went too far and the Muggle took real notice. As I understand it, by the time we did what we did to change things, most of the magical world had been wiped out completely.”

“Contrary to what many in the Wizarding World believe,” Hermione interjected, “Muggles don’t hate us. If we were revealed under the right circumstances, they’d probably ignore us for the most part. But we revealed ourselves as a real threat to them… That they would not ignore and they are far better at killing than we are and far more willing to do so as a whole. The weapon they ultimately used could not be countered. With the exception of a single place a thousand miles or so from anywhere else, every magical thing on earth was wiped out in a terrible plague. Millions of Muggles died in that struggle as well, but there are billions of them. It is that future we’re hoping to avoid. Voldemort must be dealt with. But he was in that timeline as well and that was long, long before the Muggles noticed. It was Dumbledore’s ideas that led to that end. His ideas must be crushed even more surely than Voldemort must be defeated.”

“And how do I fit in?” Sirius asked.

“Didn’t know at first,” Harry admitted. “It made no sense. In that future, we don’t meet until next May or June. You remain a fugitive and are killed about two years after we meet. I couldn’t see how changing that bit fit into the bigger picture. Then it came to me. Mind you, this was before I learned about my parents. I have no future knowledge of them at all. I’m certain I never learned they managed to survive that night. But a free Sirius Black is a serious problem for Dumbledore’s plans. What I’ve already done so far is as well. But a free Head of the Ancient and Noble House of Black who happens to be my Godfather? It would become very, very hard and potentially politically suicidal for Dumbledore to make a serious effort to right his ship and get me back under his thumb.”

“But I was free in that other time.”

“You weren’t in Azkaban, but you were not free. You could not take up your family seat nor control its proxy. Had you tried, you’d be dead. Dumbledore knew about you and kept you reasonably safe because doing so kept me in line. But he was never about to allow you to prove your innocence. Doubt he would’ve lifted a finger to help if they caught you again. He did once, but that’s only because I insisted on helping you and I could. If I hadn’t been around, you’d be dead and he’d’ve told me how his hands were tied. That me would probably have believed that nonsense.”

“But how…? Never caught Pettigrew, did I?”

“You caught him the day we first met in that timeline,” Harry replied. “He just didn’t stay caught.”

“Dirty rat!”

Harry nodded. “Four people knew the truth aside from you and then and now, you don’t count. Then and now, if you’re caught in the magical world they’ll kill you first and ask questions later. You can’t be free so long as the rat remains at large. The others who knew the truth were that Remus Lupin fellow - who we haven’t met yet and who no one would believe for some reason - Hermione here, Ginny’s brother Ron and myself. Dumbledore said the Ministry and Wizarding World would never believe the word of three thirteen year olds…”

“Not under those circumstances,” Daphne said. “Pettigrew was still on the loose after all and Harry had no political pull. He had not claimed his birthright nor had he had any contact with any of the House Potter retainers. That’s already changed in this time.”

“As you know and I’ve found out, as just Harry Potter no one need listen to me at all. I may be famous for some reason, but I was just another student at Hogwarts. Without the Potter title firmly behind me and control over that, everything else aside I was just another thirteen year old and so were my friends. Dumbledore probably believed us, but he was not about to really help so you remained a fugitive. This is the thing we still have to deal with. The Ministry is not about to cut you a break. They won’t listen to me or give you a chance to prove they’re wrong about you. So, in order to get you your full freedom we need…”

“The rat!”

“For starters,” Harry nodded. “Getting the rat should be fairly easy. It’s currently the ‘pet’ of my friend Ron. He’s off in Egypt with his family, but once they return the rat is ours! Ginny here’s gonna try and nick it later this summer and if for some reason that fails, the thing sleeps in my dorm at school. Now that bit’s the easy part. Using the rat to help you is something we’re still working out. But here’s the thing, Sirius. You want the rat dead and my Dad does too. We need it alive and well and able to talk.”

“He’ll lie.”

“Veritiserum,” Hermione said. “We have a few ideas and pumping him full of that potion and getting him to spill in front of the right people would go a long way towards getting you off the Wizarding World’s most wanted list. Still trying to figure out how to pull that off. We do have a short list of the right officials…”

“Amelia Bones,” Hannah said. “She’s the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement and my best friend’s Aunt and guardian.”

“And a Moderate,” James added.

“Under the table, as it were,” Hannah agreed. “She has the authority to reopen your case. But she won’t do it just ‘cause we ask. We hand her Pettigrew on a silver platter, however…”

“Until then?” Sirius asked.

“You’re not safe,” Harry replied. “There are perhaps only a few places in the world where you could rest easy. Unless the Goblins are angry with you, you’d be safe at Gringotts…”

“Getting there’s a problem,” Sirius said.

“Not as much as you think,” Harry countered. “You may be safe in one of your family properties…”

“Doubt granddad or the current Lord Black would be accommodating,” Sirius observed.

“Lord Arcturus Black died two years ago,” Daphne said. “He did not name an alternate heir meaning you’re it.”

“But I was disowned.”

“Not according to the Ministry,” Hannah said. “Your parents did cast you out but the Head of House Black never ratified their decision. That means you are Lord Apparent.”

“We get you to Gringotts and you’re Lord Black. It might make some hesitate, but we still need the rat to force the Ministry to place nice,” Harry continued.

“He didn’t disown me?”

“No. But he apparently made no effort to get you out of that place.”

“No surprise there,” Sirius said. “I was in there for finally living up to my Black heritage, or so my mother would say. She probably convinced Granddad that being a convicted follower of Voldemort was some sort of honour.”

“Guess it’s a good thing she’s dead as well,” Harry said. “It’s a lovely family you had. Seems all the decent ones were disowned.”

“As far as I know, you and your father were not,” Sirius said. “Then again, Potters are and Ancient and Noble House. Disowning that line was out of the question. Too much to gain by keeping that connection open.”

“Might also be why Lord Black didn’t disown you,” James said. “You’re parents had issues with your beliefs, but you were tight with House Potter.”

“Granddad was far less concerned with politics than my mother. Politics for him was whatever benefited House Black. If a fortune could be had by marrying one of us off to a Muggle, he’d have disowned any Black who objected. Still, where does this leave me?”

“With us for the foreseeable future,” James said. “Lils and I can’t reappear just yet. Well, we could. The Ministry’s not bent on displaying our corpses in the Atrium. But there are good reasons to keep the news that we’re not nearly as dead as everyone believes quiet for now. You’re safe here on the Estate and if need be we can get you to Gringotts to take care of business.”

“Until you’re truly free,” Harry added, “you’re a guest of House Potter. This estate is one of those trunk places… eight of them really… and it includes the Valley that you knew about. Plenty of room to stretch out and things to do and all that. You’re also under House Potter Protection from here on out, which means even if the Ministry finds out I’m giving you refuge, there’s not a thing they can do about it except make stepping out into their world even more unhealthy.”